Tuesday 9 February 2010

True meaning of L.O.V.E...

Love for me it means “till death do us apart”...
I witness true love from my parents...my mom and my late dad...how they love each other thru out 52 years of living together as husband and wife...how my mom loves my dad with all her heart and soul, till my dad’s last breath...my dad passed away last year 15 june 2009, at the time when i have just finished my confinement (berpantang) for my 2nd boy Ariff (Ariff was born 15april 2009)

My late dad ni orang nyer tegas, perfectionist dan kadang2 hot temper (verbally only), tak pernah pukul my mom or me or my siblings pun, tapi kalau marah memang siap lah muluntyer...

Anyway, my dad and my mom got married masa tahun kemerdekaan ie 1957, masa tu my dad was 18 and my mom was 15, org dulu2 kan kawin awal, lagipun both my parents are orphans, so they have not much option other than to start off with their own family at a very young age..of course no cintan-cintun pun, family yg match kan..so true love starts after the knot...and it lasts for 52 happy years (dec 1957-june 2009)...lepas kawin my dad bawak my mom ke Singapore sbb my dad keje kat Singapore, my 2nd sister was even born there..o yess..my mom sacrificed her job...my mom masa tu keje sbg ustazah kat sek rendah, so my mom resign lah and ikut my dad ke sana...hey..that’s true love kan...sacrifice for ur love ones...

wedding pic of my mom & dad - 22 dec 1957 - the only pic yang ada dalam simpanan my mom

As far as I know, my dad tak pernah ucap i love u pun kat my mom, sbb my dad jenis garang..so tak de lah nak ucap love love ni...like we modern couple say everyday (ye ke ?:)..tp action speaks louder than words..

My dad walaupun garang, tapi tak pernah berkira psl perbelanjaan or hal2 duit..so my mom is free to manage family finance..my dad memang bagi kat mom the whole gaji tiap2 bulan...so kalau my mom nak beli apa2, my dad sibuk suruh beli ajer...especially brg2 yg my mom suka mcm baju, jewellery or pokok bunga..o yess.. my mom has passion in gardening...kdg2 my dad belikan and bwk balik pokok bunga for my mom...so memang kat rumah kat kampong we have a flower garden, nice one...sbb ni hobby my mom.

My mom once told me, memang my mom kadang2 geram dan rasa nak marah dgn my dad bila dtg tempernyer, tapi it really melts my mom heart..thru one incident...ada one day...my mom rasa malas nak masak for breakfast, my dad pulak in hurry to go to some places...so my mom pun kira skip breakfast lah..my dad bebel2..then my dad left, then lepas tu, my dad balik sekejap, just singgah utk hantar sebungkus nasi for my mum...so when my mom related the story to me...my mom was melted lah, sbb my dad was caring takut my mom starving without breakfast..sanggup pegi beli nasi dulu even dia was in a hurry pun masa tu..

I still remember masa one event tu..my mom dapat tempat kedua utk anugerah penghargaan buat ibu karangkaraf( i yg nominate my mom)...my dad was so elated...my dad even sibuk suruh i calonkan my mom utk anugerah ibu mithali kebangsaaan...that is very obvious to me how my dad loves my mom, how he appreciates and prouds with her...walaupun my dad tak pernah ucapkan sayang/cinta or i love u kat my mom..

pic taken at anugerah penghargaan buat ibu organized by karangkraf
We all adik beradik kalau my dad tak sihat or hilang selera makan, sibuk call2 tanya my dad nak makan apa, kami nak belanja, my dad akan jwb, tak payah beli for him, tapi suruh tanya our mom nak makan apa and beli for our mom..so sweet and touching for us to hear that...

pic kenangan - our family ie my dad, my mom, myself and my 6 siblings...ni masa malam my akad nikah
Ada byk lagi event..tp panjang pulak kalau nak tulis semua kan...

O yess...my dad was healthy until 2 months before his demise..my dad was diagnosed with a liver cancer, unknown and so sudden..until the day he went into coma, so time tu memang dah tak boleh buat apa2 pun...my dad then regain consciousness for 2 weeks and then passed away...one more story that I could never ever forget, forever.. is bila my mom told me, petang sblm my dad meninggal, my dad was fully conscious, tp very2 weak sbb my dad dah tak boleh accept makanan sejak dia fell ill...my mom sempat cakap2 dgn my dad, my mom tanya, :”sampai hati awak nak tinggalkan saya..”...my dad answered shortly: “sedih.tapi terpaksa..”.my tears rolled down my cheeks masa dengar my mom citer, even masa i menaip ni pun...my dad passed away that nite, di pangkuan my mom, my elder brother and my youngest brother. Myself, my other younger brother, my elder sister and my other younger brother tak sempat berada di sisi my dad masa his last breath..we all were on the way from KL to kampung...rasa macam semlm ajer peristiwa ni berlaku..

My mom, and all my siblings susah sgt nak accept the fact that our dad dah tak de – rasa mcm mimpi ajer...even sampai hari ni...sbb my dad despite garang, tapi close dgn anak2 and tempat berbincang, share problems, buat keputusan..so losing him in life is undescribable..

True love of my dad is reflected in the way my dad built his career and future plan...my dad start from zero, sbb my dad kira dtg dari keluarga miskin tegar..memang tak de harta langsung..my dad masa muda keje sbg British army kat Singapore, then keje dgn MTC (Msian Tobacco Company), then my dad amik VSS (voluntary separation scheme), then keje sbg pemandu teksi...my dad memang menghargai every single cent yang dia dapat..especially masa keje bawak teksi tu..sebab it was tiring..kesian sangat tengok my dad balik dalam keadaan yang penat padahal income tak seberapa pun, tapi my dad tak nak duduk diam tanpa buat apa2 keje..
hasilnyer all his children tak rasa kesusahan yg my dad rasa masa kecik...ada my mom citer my dad pernah tak cukup makan dan dihina for being a poor orphan masa kecik, sebab tu my dad keje kuat untuk make sure anak2 dia 7 orang semuanyer hidup senang and keje bagus2 dan dihormati, sebab my dad tau bagaimana rasanyer kalau miskin dan dihina...

so effect keje kuat my dad masa muda...sekarang my mom yang rasa...my dad tinggalkan my mom investment and income yg cukup..(savings, landed property, kebun buah, rumah2 sewa) sebab my dad tak mau my mom hidup susah bila dia dah tak ada nanti..and true love of my dad towards his children..education yg cukup..so memang all my siblings have a good career..and Alhmdulillah cukup religious education pun...hakikatnyer the love is mutual...kami sangat2 merindui dan merasai kehilangan our dad...bila mana kerinduan rasa mcm tak tertahan sgt2..kami semua kini cuma dpt menyedekahkan bacaan al-quran utk my dad agar dia bahagia di alam sana..that’s the best that we can do..adik i yang kini menemani my mom yang duduk sorang2 kat kampong selalu cakap.. keluarga kami kini dah tak sempurna (cukup) lepas my dad tak ada... and life is not going to be the same again..never..yes dear, itulah reality yang pahit...

pic masa raya 2008, ni pic terakhir family kami all complete, with my dad, mom and all anak cucu...

see - true love is till death do us apart kan...hanya maut yang memisahkan true love between my mom and dad, and between my dad and anak-anak...we truly miss you Ayah. Kita pasti akan berjumpa dan berkumpul sebagai satu keluarga yang lengkap lagi satu hari nanti..di alam sana yang pasti dan abadi..

Al-Fatihah to arwah Haji Ismail bin Awang Besar..

Before I pen off, just wanna share a beautiful, touching story that I got from Encik Google...for the benefit of all who read my blog...may be kita semua pernah terbaca, but it does refresh our memory, and hopefully strengthen our love towards our loved ones..

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30AM, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 AM.

As a nurse, I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his stitches and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The elderly gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's as we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

Note: Alzheimer's destroys brain cells, causing problems with memory, thinking and behavior severe enough to affect work, lifelong hobbies or social life.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything The Map of Luxury; they just make the best of everything they have.

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can feel it” (my fav love quote taken from my all-time fav movie : A walk to remember, also a movie under the theme true love)

pic kenangan me and my dad - Hanya Tuhan yang tahu betapa hati ini merinduimu Ayah...

Mama Zharfan


Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...


ni mdm suzi ke??
lecturer uia??

is it true?

AyuArjuna BiGoshh said...

suzz..it's wonderful true love story that I ever heard..really appreciate it..thanks for sharing ya...

joegrimjow said...

thank ya join

nanti ku buat review

thank again

harap rohnya bersama dengan yang soleh

ms aziz said...

sgt terharu dan sayu dgn cerita ni ..... especially apa yg ayah ucap pd ma ptg tu...bru tahu hari ni... betapa bertuah ma dpt ayah sbg teman hidup ....

Mama Zharfan said...

jane : i guess u are rite..
ayu : me sharing in the hope of easing my pain & sorrow..
joe: tq for visiting my entry, and many2 thanks for the prayers
aimi : ... :( ...:)

Azuan said...

best entri nie..gud luck huhu

Anonymous said...

salam mdm...
what a pleasant surprise..
i'm ur student before..hehehehehe
amik contract ngn mdm

mmm...tk sgka jumpe mdm kat sini..
sedey cter ni mdm..huu

lps ni blh la singgah sini selalu..

ha chemo said...

i cant stop crying..hurm.i can feel ur father's love...thanxs 4 sharing..

Mama Zharfan said...

azuan : tq
jane : ;)
ha_chemo : TQ...dunno what to say..pain shared is pain halved, hopefully..

Adziim said...

till death do us apart kedengaran agak creepy.

Anyway benar bergantung pada situasi.

Farah said...

sangat sangat menyentuh hati

Mama Zharfan said...

Mimpi : yup, can't agree more..
farah : tq for visiting, reading my entry and for being understanding..really appreciate that..

nur said...

baru baca.. yes... it's true love..


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